Me and my loneliness

People have come in my life and people have gone by. An endless journey of travel and discovery and there is no one who stood by. Yet one thing that has never left my side is my loyal loneliness. She comes to me whenever I feel alone and leaves me when I have someone else. She is there in all my troubles but never wants a share of my happiness.

She was there when I was really sad and did not know what to do next. She was there when I wanted to cry but could not do so in front of others. She was around when I had to study hard and noise was my biggest enemy. She was around while I was fighting my own battles with the will and I nearly did not survive. She was there even as my best of friends had forgotten me. She was with me in my greatest hour of need and the deepest hour of trouble.

I have only this to say to you - "I know I have always wanted to leave you alone. I have always tried to avoid you and keep away from you. Now though, I have found the truth. The truth that you always think what is best for me. I want to hug for every time you helped me survive while others lay ignorant. Who needs a girlfriend when I have a girl like you in my life who does nothing but help me in my bad days without a word, just silently listening and completely understanding. "

Where are you now ?

When people disappear from our lives it is so hard to remember the exact moment that they actually left you. The last words that we said to each other or the last place we actually sat together. For a long time they may have been an immovable part of our daily schedule. Every evening we would have been spending our time chatting or playing together. Then suddenly comes a time called the present when we do not know where he is or what she is up to. It has been days since our last chat or call. It has been so long before a shared memory was created and added to that immense pile of reminiscent glories in our past.  

The internet was supposed to bring people closer, it was going to help us keep connected. Why is it then that we still do not talk to each other so often anymore. We may tend to believe that we do not have as much time as we had then. Priorities may have changed and maybe our schedules have suffered.  Yet we still find ourselves spending time on doing nothing whatsoever in the weekends. We still have time to go delve in our inner thoughts endlessly and watch those meaningless images or videos that we come across in the multimedia. 

When we do meet, we could spend countless hours being nostalgic about the time we did spend together but then we are back in our own journey to the Neverland. It only feels like we took a mild detour on our highway because there was some construction work going on. We have made a lot of new friends but they still do not emulate the joy we had with our old buddies. There is a blank left in our lives which we have prepared ourselves. No matter how much self analysis we do, we can never fill those gaps on our own. As we are the ones who created it, it is impossible for us to go beyond them.

We are still looking for things that would take us out of this endless cycle of boredom we suffer from in our daily jobs. Yet we are seeking the answers in the future, but the answers lie  in the past. It is true that life is full of endless possibilities and endless number of people. Yet it depends completely on us if we want to take those old friendships in our lives as a comma or as a full stop. 

It is not in my nature to forget the past and there is no way that people who forget their old friends can ever make new friends with conviction. So get back on those phones or the Facebook pages and reconnect with your friends. Let them not be just a part of your past but also of your future.